Tony Blair is STILL the Prime Minister, Dontcha Know?
- Update - The right (plastic) hand doesn’t know what the left is up to at Tussauds
- WHICH Country?
- See report on British lawyer’s call to Al Qaeda to kill Blair
Comment at end
10th March, 2008
“And over to you, Mr … er … ”
I CAN RELAX, FOLKS
IT SEEMS TONY BLAIR IS STILL PM AFTER ALL
I’ve read it twice over the last couple of days so it MUST be true. Thank God for that. I don’t know if you’ve been sharing my somnolent confusion recently - REM movements - faceless, semi visible apparitions? But I’ve been having this DREADFUL recurring nightmare!
Gordon Brown - yes - don’t laugh - Gordon BROWN had taken over as Prime Minister! I know. Hard to imagine. Blair had just disappeared … gone off somewhere … who knows!? And since Mr Blair is noticeable by his absence, the police were even considering digging up Gordon’s old vegetable patch round the back of Downing Street (where he took modest pride in keeping his neeps and tatties well fertilised with the best natural organic matter).
Anyway, I’m awake now. Everything’s fine; yes, thank you, Doctor.
It IS a relief. I mean, if Brown had taken over we’d have left Iraq to fend for itself instead of investing the necessary there. We’d have dumped the PFI and Blair’s Academies. We’d likely have thrown out his nuclear weaponry update plans; even nuclear power. And we’d definitely have done away with Blair’s ID cards idea. We’d have had a referendum on the Lisbon treaty and left the EU already, cheerled by the Daily Mail. In fact, we’d have drifted back ten years in the space of six months into the hands of those still longing for a once-upon-a-dream day of libertarian utopianism.
That’s what Gordon, the Sweetheart of the Left, is all about. Is he not? Of course; even though Blair tried to reassure us he wasn’t. That’s what he’d have given us, we can be sure, were he PM. Otherwise there would no point at all in his replacing Blair.
No. No point at all.
The Financial Times explains accurately how both main political parties’ stances are now as one on social policy and yes, even on foreign policy issues. The press may like to tell us that Blair will have ‘IRAQ’ emblazoned on his political tombstone. But true centrist positioning of all three main parties will likely be his true legacy. Brown/Cameron/Clegg? What’s the difference? Perhaps that’s why it is still so hard to find inspirational leadership at the top of our Blairless politics.
Been there … done that.
“Prime Minister of Great Britain”
A Madame Tussauds spokesman said:
“We are apolitical and always listen to the public in terms of its figure selection process. So we will not make a Prime Minister until after the General Election as this is the best possible indicator of public opinion and popularity.”
Still one of the most popular attractions at Tussauds, Mr Blair remains labeled as “Prime Minister of Great Britain” and stands next to President George W Bush of America and the other world leaders.
To make matters worse, the spokesman added that Brown’s predecessor, Tony Blair, who was cast in wax while opposition leader 13 years ago, was still a big hit with foreign visitors.
“Love him or loathe him, Tony Blair continues to be one of our most popular figures. He will remain for now. “Tony Blair is a very popular attraction. He is instantly recognizable to tourists.”
[Pic above: The Blair waxwork figure at Tussauds. I've seen it, and it captures something of the serious Blair. Photographed by and with thousands of visitors daily.]
Note: Tussauds - ” … we will not make a Prime Minister until after the General Election”.
Art imitating life or vice versa?”
And then there’s the other little something that made me realise it had all been a nasty dream.
[Pic: Blair at his Oxford graduation ceremony]
“Prime Minister Blair to Teach at Yale”
‘New Haven, Conn. — Yale University is pleased to announce the appointment of Prime Minister Tony Blair as the Howland Distinguished Fellow for the next academic year.’
[Note: Yes, I do understand that Americans always afford former US presidents the title of 'President'. It's a courtesy we could emulate. I recall being at a forces gathering some years ago when the American military present toasted "the office of president of the United States", because they did not respect their then president Bill Clinton and his conscientious objection to Vietnam.]
(read more about Professor Blair here.)
How he’s going to fit the Professorship into his prime ministerial workload is anyone’s guess. But I expect he’ll manage.
Now that both Yale University and Madame Tussauds Waxworks have confirmed that Tony Blair is still PM, I can finally stop this incessant quest for premier league leadership. It really has been a fruitless task.
So why, I hear you ask, is the famous London waxworks not chiseling away yet on that infamous drop jaw? It seems because Mr Brown hasn’t made much of an impact on the public, hasn’t yet been validated as PM in a general election, and, well, it’s not worth the wax if he’s not PM after the next election.
Phew! How humiliating for GB/PM. Tussauds has poured into a few kilos of wax, or hasn’t - as it happens, the test of his right to premier status. Couldn’t have put it better myself.
This was the last time ABBA sang it public, it seems. Awww … sad eh?
Update to the “we don’t want Brown at Tussauds” story
It seems that Downing Street says that last week Mr Brown received a letter from Tussauds asking him to sit for a waxwork model of himself. Amazing how he managed to find THAT letter when he lost the one he had before Christmas from David Davis about the bugging of the lawyer talking to his Muslim client in prison. Ah, but some letters are more important than others.
Anyway, it’ll take them a couple of years to make a plastic Mr GB/PM. That brow and chin are going to need some working on. So he still won’t appear until after he’s won a general election, I’d guess. And quite right too.
Tags: British Prime Minister, faith and globalisation, Gordon Brown, madame, professor blair, Tony Blair, tussauds, waxworks, yale university
