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21st January, 2009
MY FELLOW AMERIC… AMERICAN FELLAS
Hope none of my Amurican friends were hoping to fly anywhere today. The planes are kinda busy. Reason? Most of them have taken a trip across to Iraq to bring the troops home.
If they have any spare seats the pilots have all offered to drop into Afghanistan and bring back some of the guys there too.
The new Prez has been working overnight on global warming. He reckons it should be fixed by midday – or midday plus 5! A new important time of change in the history of inaugurating Amurican presidents.
And 24 hours later, by Thursday lunchtime, free health care will be available for all. We-e-e-ell, miracles take a little longer.
In a sign of the new Amurican international inclusiveness, compassion, brotherhood, hope and love, Mr Obama has handed over the keys of the West Wing of the White House to Iran’s President Ahmadinejad and his entourage.
DjihadMeNaa … sorry … Ahmadinejad managed to unclench his fist long enough to accept the generous offer. And the keys.
The other Big OB – Osama bin Laden – has surrendered gratefully and without hesitation to Amurican Marines who managed within 12 hours of the Prez’s inauguration to sniff out his cave in the Pakistan borders. The boys said it was a cinch. Specially after having been anointed with special powers of observation and perception by the president’s own hand.
Mr bin Laden is now measuring up the East Wing, and counting the beds (at least five.)
He has already donated the $25M dollar reward money, previously on his head, to the poor of downtown Chicago and Hawaii, (if they can find any), for having the vision and wisdom to bless the world with the Big O. An additional £2M is going to the Amurican Pilots Association. A kind thought.
The economy has just sat right up and dusted itself off.
It’s started all over again. And now …
All Amuricans have a job, whether they want one or not.
The homeless have been given a home, a new suit and a bath. Not necessarily in that order. If they pefer the streets, they can sell the property – and put the money straight into the newly formed Bank of BO Amurica, at 20% interest, the new minimum rate for savers.
President … sorry … Prime Minister Putin, President Mugabe and an important kinda guy from Hamas have been invited to dinner at the White House Friday evening. Talking politics is strictly off the menu. But smokes, vodka and other stuff are fine, just fine.
Chill out, guys.
Yes, it sure is a brave new world.
Europeans have all decided it’s time they learned to speak Engl … Amurican.
Even the British are going to have a try.
And in Africa, everyone has plenty to eat and clean water to drink. AIDS has been abolished and every child has been given a year’s supply of mosquito nets, which they tuck neatly under their new New England pine convertible bunk beds/computer desks.
Guantanamo Bay has already closed, and all the poor innocent, tortured suspects are now wandering Amurican streets in a daze …
Like the rest of the population.
Enjoy, America.
A NEW DAY DAWNING ? WELL, IT DEPENDS …
This, Tony Blair’s landslide victory in 1997, the first of 3 elections he won for Labour (all led by Blair and a historical first), is as good as it gets in Britain. Though many people now look on this as a new day of darkness dawning. Not me.
Wonder how time and events will play on the Obama Magic?
Another bit of fun and games – Tony Blair Obituary, by Dubbya
Tags: ahmadinejad, amurica, an Obama miracle, and lo unto us, Barack Obama, Guantanamo, my fellow americans, obamessiah, Osama bin Laden, President Obama, superstar, Tony Blair obituary
