One of these days I WILL, I promise, add another excerpt to the below. What have you done to deserve this, you might be asking. Seen Polanski’s ‘The Ghost’? Now that’s really stretching gullibility.
- À la mode of Harris & Polanski – TRUE FICTION – ‘The Prime Minister’s Mistress’ and
Comment at end
23rd April 2010
So there we had it. The Second Round. The Big Fight in Bristol.
And it was a big ‘un. More than the usual two fighters.
- In the red corner – Gordo The Brown aka The Clucking Fits.
- In the blue corner – Cameron, the Kinda Comeback Kid-You-Not.
- And in the yellow corner – Nick The Nicker. (Can’t read this? OK – In black -)
And in the yellow corner – Nick The Nicker.
And who, I hear you ask, was in the fourth corner, rainbow coloured, grey or whatever shade takes your artistic fancy. Who was in the shadows, there but not quite there, distantly reminiscent and yet newly omniscient, looming lightly or perhaps uncharacteristically heavily over the ring? ( I write with a smile so you can read with a smile. It makes it easier to get to the end.)
It was none other than The Spirit of Times Gone By. When things could only have only got better… if…
IT’S ALL ABOUT KNOWING WHERE THE BODIES LIE – ER – LIED
It WASN’T about which fighter had the most persuasive policies punches, was it? It was about who could land them with the most grace and style – floating like a butterfly, stinging like a bee. It has been for some time in this age of telly.
A woman on Newsnight summed it all up nicely. A body-language watcher (how do you get a job like that, anyway?)
I didn’t take notes but she said, more or less –
“Nick Clegg was doing the gated hands, then the framing of the argument, and the inclusion of the audience with his points. Very, very Tony Blair-like. And the audience in a pavlovian way, lapped it all up, even though they didn’t really realise it or know why.”
So there we have it. Things can only bet Blairer… lap-lap, sniff-sniff, lick-lick, wag-wag.
Now, that’s why Cameron has been losing the fight with Nick the Nicker. It’s the Blair factor. Cameron copied it, Clegg pinched the copy, and Brown never owned it to begin with.
THE ‘YES WE CAN’ MAN
I thought it was more or less a draw last night, with the Yellow Corner perhaps winning on points. Though their boy was lucky. He threw the last punch, swinging Obama-esque, with beauty and prescience. This always helps when you have to persuade the largely semi (politically) ignorant (sorry, folks, but I have no interest in representing the voter in parliament or the council hall, so I say what I have noticed to be true.)
Clegg: “We don’t simply need to choose from the old choices of the past, we don’t need to repeat the mistakes of the past. Dont let anyone tell you that this time it can’t be different, it can.”
Btw, Peter! Where were you last night? We missed you in Brissol! Were you on the phone, long-distance? And, Lord Mandelson of The Ring, will you kindly advise those seconds when one of the fighters is ready for the dressing room? We don’t want anyone carried out, do we?
As The Blair Kid – the Daddy of ’em all – said before he was counted out:
“At the next election it will be a flyweight versus a heavyweight and however much he may dance around the ring in the end he’ll come face to face with a big clunking fist, and be out on his feet, carried out of the ring, the fifth Tory leader to be carried out, and a Labour government still standing.”