Comment at end
29th April 2010
THE ELEPHANT JUST GOT OUT OF THE ROOM
Gordon, d-a-h-l-i-n-g! WHAT can I say?
You’ve done it again.
Single-handedly you’ve gone where no man has gone before you. Not Clever Cameron nor Cute Clegg.
You’ve finally latched onto the main issue concerning voters. The one the others guys, and you, avoided like the plague.
How can we doubt you now?
With your how-the-hell-did-tony-do-this grin, in just the place where a how-the-hell-did-tony-do-this sort of a grin was NOT required – outside the front door of Mrs Duffy (the former ‘bigot’), you’ve got us all trusting you again. Just as we did before you threw all caution to the wind and showed us the true extent of your confusion.
NOW the voters are BOUND to sit up and take notice.
You’ve broken the unspoken pact on the unmentionable policy. Now you’d better fix it. Before Dave fixes it for you.
Nick, of course, tried his best to sound statesmanlike and oh-so understanding today. Not because he really felt ‘there but for the grace of God go I’, but because his immigration policy is even more liberal than yours.
Fix it, fella and fellas. By this time next week I want to know who to vote for.
Btw, I DO hope, Gordon, you’re not having some sort of breakdown, my dear. That might mean we’d have to look around for help from someone else with prime ministerial experience – and, with only a week to go before voting day!
Now, anybody qualified you can think of? Free to stand in for a week?
We have just witnessed the biggest moment of the 2010 election campaign. It wasn’t that Brown let off steam: it was that he instinctively described as “bigoted” a woman who represents what should be Labour’s core vote. Sure, she mentioned immigration – but just said “where are they coming from”? Her main concern was the national debt, and what her grandchildren will have to pay. Neither Cameron or Clegg would have thought these points bigoted – and neither would Tony Blair. The thought would not have crossed his mind. Nor that of Kinnock, Foot or Callaghan. Labour’s campaign is led by a man who dislikes campaigning, having to get down and dirty with ordinary voters. He doesn’t like standing for election. “Whose idea was that?” He asked when inside the car. Whose idea was what? Democracy? Meeting angry voters is what elections are about. If Brown doesn’t like it, he’s in the wrong business.
In a leader for tomorrow’s Spectator, we say that he has long considered those who disagree with him to be either confused or malign. To this we can now add a third category: bigoted. Tomorrow’s newspapers will detail every word she said to him and readers will ask: where is the bigotry? Barack Obama’s worst moment was talking about voters who “cling to guns and religion” – if you slag of the voters, it can be fatal. And one question lingers now: did Brown say “bigoted” in a fit of rage? Or is that what he really believes?
And now for a bit of true fiction –