Tony ‘High Noon’ Blair? Enough to raise the Blood Pressure, or the Vote?

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    1st May 2010

    HIGH NOON FOR LABOUR? THE BOSS RETURNS

    BUT IS IT TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE?

    If I had time I’d mix my own High Noon video.  In your mind’s eye you’ll have to exchange the lovely lady in the video for Tony, or perhaps Gordon. You choose. In the film there’s only one cowboy left lying in the dust. That’s a throwback to times gone by when the good guy only had to deal with one cowboy at a time.

    He swished silently into town on his sleek black stallion. The folks all stopped and stared. Was that him? The walk… the low wave, those blue eyes… the smile, as wide and wild as the stories about him?

    “I’m sure I saw him up country weeks ago”, said a little lady in a blue hat to her beau. “I jest couldn’t believe it. I thought they’d killed him off.”

    Beau answered – “Nope, that’s him, Honey… and he sure looks live to me. Anyways, it says so in the New New British Spectator, from Engerland County.”

    Shooting from both hips The Boss murmured to the enthralled –

    “Nicely nicely Nick is peddling the oldest game in the west. He’s blaming us good folks for all life’s bad things. And dunking, daring Dave? He wouldn’t know a tango from a waltz.”

    Are you sure it's registering anything? Some of the bad guys seem to think I'm history.

    It surely must have been heart-breaking for Labour party members in the London suburb of Harrow. And even for the non-aligned from out of town who happened by on their way to the general store.

    For a short term a bit of reflected sunshine came into their dull lives. And then, leaving smiling faces and memories of times long gone the charmer was gone. His horse car sped off as the town hall clock struck high noon.

    The Doc said his health was AOK, though his blood pressure could have been lower. He’d have to cut down on taking those midnight phone calls from his old buddy Goodly Gord.  He looked fit and well if thinner, greyer and a little older. Like the rest of us, without the thinner. But he was still glowing, bright eyed in the midst of all the misery. And the folks voters were left in his wake, gazing fondly, remembering, wondering …. why?

    WHY did we ever let him go?

    The noos is that The Times they are a changing, for those Guardians of life’s morality and kinda good clean-living, kinda morally upright, if unenthusiastic kinda folks.

    Former Prime Minister Tony Blair waves his characteristic low wave as he arrives for a visit at the Alexandra Avenue Health and Social Care Centre in Harrow, north-west London, Friday April 30, 2010. 'The Boss' rejected suggestions that Labour was heading for a catastrophic third place in the election next Thursday. "We can still be successful", he said, omitting to define "success". Perhaps he meant 'we won't ALL end up dead'. (AP Photo/Akira Suemori)

    Is this where the Sheriff hangs out? I need some guns.

    LOST AND FOUND

    The New Guardian from Liberal County (Excerpts)

    A CLASS ACT, HE WOULDNT HAVE FORGOTTEN THE MIC

    As television crews dispersed from a polyclinic in Harrow, north-west London, and Tony Blair‘s car sped off into the distance, Khalid Hussein, 23, a mechanic who lives on the estate opposite, delivered his pithy verdict upon the consummate crowd pleaser’s return.

    “I don’t really believe what Tony says, not after the war [in Iraq]. But I would still prefer him to Gordon Brown for prime minister because he’s a class act. He wouldn’t have forgotten about a microphone,” Hussein said.

    And…

    A STATESMAN, ELOQUENT, GREAT TONIC

    Wing Commander (Retd) Philip Buttery, the clinic’s general manager who organised the visit, said Blair had “a real presence”.

    “He had a deep tan, the sort that you wouldn’t get from a sunbed. He carried himself like a statesman. And the way he moved through the place, shaking hands, speaking with great eloquence, making others feel at ease, it really was a great tonic for patients,” he said.

    And…

    THE CONSERVATIVE DOCTOR – (WE’D BE TANGOED IF WE WERE FIGHTING HIM)

    “Before leaving for central London Blair also met Dr Mark Bonar, a sexual health specialist at the clinic. He is a Conservative party member. The pair spoke about Aids policy for several minutes.

    Afterwards Bonar said: “I am pleased that Cameron is up against Brown, not Blair.”

    And what says The Independent?

    ‘He was just so charismatic’: Blair’s return provokes a bout of nostalgia

    The man with the Golden Tan flew to Gordon Brown’s aid yesterday.

    The former Prime Minister exudes the sheen of the super rich these days. He has lost a lot of weight since leaving office in 2007. He is now model thin, the kind of sleek look that costs a fortune in expensive salad leaves.

    The smile is still there, but the tan is the most noticeable thing, set off by a blue suit. It has provoked jokes on the internet. David Cameron wisecracked that the Blair orange hue would be “very good for the sales of Tango”, but it is a gentler, more expensive glow than anything from the inside of a bottle. It is more Miami with a touch of the Middle East, where he had spent the past two weeks grounded by volcano dust.

    Girls hung over a parapet near the roof of the West London NHS polyclinic to catch a glimpse of Mr Blair as he trotted into the family centre which is part of his NHS legacy and boasts on its doors: “Open 8am-8pm, seven days a week, 365 days a year.”

    In the health centre, he chatted to nurses, doctors and patients in the easy manner that saw him through three General Election victories. Staff spoke about his star quality. “He was just so charismatic,” said Dr Mark Bonar, a GP at the polyclinic, a new form of health centre that is being rolled out across London.

    If Gordon Brown had that quality, he would be home and dry. It was like seeing Margaret Thatcher returning to support John Major. There was an intense feeling of nostalgia, and as the press shouted questions, a Labour supporter said: “Bring him back.”

    The clinic provides multi-GP services and minor surgery under one roof, but specialises in sexually transmitted diseases, contraception and HIV tests. “Don’t tell the Daily Mail,” whispered a Labour aide.

    After spending an hour touring the clinic, Mr Blair offered his support to Mr Brown, but the words did not matter. It was his presence that counted. He is the secret weapon to reach wavering voters in the marginal seats in the south and the north west, whom Mr Brown knows he cannot reach.

    Putting their past strains behind him, Blair denied that Mr Brown had been a “failure” as Prime Minister. “No I don’t think he’s failed at all.”

    Asked about the prospect that Labour could come third in the share of the vote on 6 May, the former PM replied: “I don’t believe that will happen. Labour has every chance of succeeding. When you start in an election campaign, particularly when you have got a new thing, which is the debates, then it will all revolve around a bit of who’s up, who’s down.

    “But once you get into the final days, I think people will really focus their minds on who has the answers for the future, who has the energy, the drive to take the country forward.”

    Mr Blair called Mr Brown “completely honest” and said he had the “energy and drive” to take Britain forward.

    Mr Blair had his blood pressure taken and joked: “The question will be, is it better or worse than it used to be?”

    An ITN reporter said: “Or is it better or worse than Gordon’s?”

    Mr Blair responded: “It’s a tough job being Prime Minister – I know.”

    One doctor confided that Mr Blair’s “blood pressure was high. We told him to have it rechecked as soon as he can. But he looks very fit.”

    As he left the building, more staff leant out to glimpse the celebrity ex-PM, who swept off in a bomb-proof BMW. If he loses, at least Mr Brown will know life is not so bad for an ex-prime minister in global demand.


    RELATED

    1. Telegraph: Sketch – Tony Blair tries to resurrect Gordon Brown

    Excerpts:

    Tony Blair descended from the skies – one of his disciples said he had come in “from the far east, I think” –  Mr Blair went about his usual ministry of healing the sick and preaching the good news of New Labour.

    Dr David Lloyd, senior partner in the practice, said afterwards: “It was fantastic for us meeting such a charismatic man. ”

    When Dr Lloyd asked some patients who were having heart tests whether they wanted to meet Mr Blair, the patients even “leapt off their beds” in their eagerness to see the great man.

    We realise that readers of a sceptical turn of mind will wish to know whether we actually saw Mr Blair perform any miracles. The truth, we admit, is that we were standing in the small crowd outside the building, so had to rely on other people’s accounts of the way Mr Blair was transforming people’s lives.

    Suddenly Mr Blair was among us: cometh the hour, cometh the tan. His face was the colour of a manila envelope, but he waved his outstretched fingers and smiled his messianic smile as he made his way to his waiting limousine.”

    2. Linking back to Brad Warthen, a fellow Blair supporter who has linked to the blog. Just shows you how more politically aware the Americans are than us. Whoops, there I go again – upsetting our press! Will I ever learn?

    Nope – is the word you’re grasping for.


    REMEMBER: Just cos the town’s printing press are coming out for the other guys and they’ve pronounced you dead – it doesn’t mean you are. Ask The Boss.




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    One Response to “Tony ‘High Noon’ Blair? Enough to raise the Blood Pressure, or the Vote?”

    1. If Tony Blair looks ‘old and sick’ – I’m a Tory party member & I’ll vote Lib Dem! « Tony Blair Says:

      […] Tony Blair « Tony ‘High Noon’ Blair? Enough to raise the Blood Pressure, or the Vote? […]

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