Off to the Public Hanging. I’ve packed the knitting

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    Or –

    21st January 2011

    Click to Buy Tony Blair’s ‘A Journey’

    Knit one, purl one … dit les tricoteuses (the knitters)

    I’ll probably be tied up with other things after the Iraq Inquiry drags a squirming Tony Blair across the coals and stretches the troof out of him.

    What with all this holding his feet to the fire, disembowelling then dissecting, before hanging and burying him, the press will be asking Chilcot to consider flogging personal souvenirs on Ebay next – (username NoBlackWhitewashHere) – in a tasteful Buy Now way, of course.

    So after the fun and games at the QEII centre I may not feel quite up to prattling on here for a bit.  Some will be pleased to hear that, no doubt.

    Schroeder and Chirac. Drinking to Blair's health, I'm sure

    Schroeder and Chirac. Drinking to Blair's health, I'm sure - Eine gute Gesundheit! Abwesende Freunde! Bonne santé! Wir lieben dich, Tony.

    Still, after an ale/mead/cider/gin or even a glass or two of French vin or German lager, I should recover enough to have my usual go at our beloved press, je suis certain.

    In the meantime we can depend on our far-minded unbalanced press to keep you updated on how it all went. And one or two of them might even succeed.

    Good health! Absent friends! We love you, Tony. OH YES WE DO.




    During the French Revolution, executions in Paris were witnessed by vast throngs including many female Jacobins. These bloodthirsty women employed themselves with their knitting while attending daily at the scaffold, hence the familiar name les tricoteuses (the knitters). Those were the palmy days of the guillotine, the instrument which was introduced by the National Convention during the progress of the French Revolution and was named after its supposed inventor, Joseph-Ignace Guillotin, a physician. He was not the inventor, but was only the person who first proposed its adoption. It consists of two upright posts grooved on the inside and connected at the top by cross beams. In these grooves a knife, having a sharp blade placed obliquely, is allowed to fall with tremendous force upon the neck of the victim who is bound upon a board placed at the foot of the upright posts. It is said by some authorities that this machine was invented by the Persians. It was well known in Italy, and from the thirteenth century onward it was the privilege of the nobility to be put to death by a machine of this kind, which was called mannaia. Conradin of Swabia was executed by such a machine at Naples in 1268. An instrument closely resembling the guillotine was employed for public executions during the Middle Ages. In Scotland, a machine called the “Maiden”, very similar to the guillotine, was used. A like machine was also used by the Dutch in the eighteenth century for executing slaves in their colonies.




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    6 Responses to “Off to the Public Hanging. I’ve packed the knitting”

    1. Picking the right stand for your swords | Swords Shop Says:

      […] Off to the Public Hanging. I've packed the knitting « Tony Blair […]

    2. Peter Reynolds Says:

      Just try not to think about it I say although you probably will feel your head drop into the basket.

      Maybe if it gets held up and shown to the crowd you can get a last look at the view?

      “The person guillotined becomes unconscious very quickly and dies from shock and anoxia due to haemorrhage and loss of blood pressure within less than 60 seconds. It has often been reported that the eyes and mouths of people beheaded have shown signs of movement. It has been calculated that the human brain has enough oxygen stored for metabolism to persist about seven seconds after the supply is cut off. As in hanging, the heart continues to beat for some time after decapitation.
      Various experiments have been made on guillotined heads and generally seem to show that little consciousness remains after 2-5 seconds of separation from the body although some have concluded that the head retains feeling for much longer.”


      • keeptonyblairforpm Says:

        Er, right, Peter. Ever the joker. (Talking about your little jokes – is that BBC thing on about some “war criminal” or other? We can help with this.)

        Anyway it’s very helpful of you to let us know the mechanics and consciousness of beheading. I can sleep peacefully now. Touch wood, as they say.

        Btw, I wasn’t to be the victim of the hangers’n’floggers. Well, I might have been if they’d known I was on the side of right and the innocent man! But the head’s still there.

        And you’ll be pleased to know that the intended victim got out in the same sort of shape he arrived, head still joined to the rest. He looks better that way, anyway.

        Tomorrow I’ll be scribbling on yesterday at the QEII. I always enjoy a good cruise.

    3. Tom Says:

      I’m on my way back from the inquiry now although unfortunately I was stuck in the additional viewing room. The usual dyslexic Bliar signs were out again, though to me TB came across very well. I felt my anger boil with the heckling at the end, in fact I think the woman behind me was a little annoyed with the comments I uttered under my breath! Where you in the main room?

      • keeptonyblairforpm Says:

        Hi Tom,

        You should have let me know you were going. Afterwrds we had a get-together of “we few, we happy few”, increasing in numbers as the placard-waving opportunists and liars decrease. A pint or two of ale, a glass or two of Bell’s, a tumbler or three of water even was downed by we sober-sided supporters of THE MAN.

        I thought he did very well, and I could write a book on the whole thing. Will start it in the morning when I’ve caught a few hours kip.

        No unfortunately I too was only in the additional viewing room, same as last time. But I managed to see Tony as he left afterwards – the way he came in, through the front door.

        Now even that somehow seems like progress in this blind and blighted land of ours.

    4. Iraq Inquiry catch-up service: the wringing of Blair and the mangling of “THE TRUTH” « Tony Blair Says:

      […] Off to the Public Hanging. I’ve packed the knitting […]

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