BREAKING: Ban ki-moon, H Clinton, Ashton & Lavrov forced to stand down (Quartet)

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3rd October 2011

[*See note at end]

In a move that has shocked the international community all four representatives of the international Quartet working for peace between Israel and the Palestinians agreed unanimously to stand down from their decision-making positions as regards the Middle East’s most intractable problem.  It is believed to be connected with reported opinion of some on the Palestinian side that they consider Tony Blair to be “biased” against the Palestinians.

The UN’s Ban Ki-moon, US Sec of State Hilary Clinton, the EU’s Baroness Ashton and Russia’s Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov explained their reasons in a joint statement:

“In the light of reported Palestinian and press outrage over Tony Blair’s so-called failure to transform Palestine into Norway over the last four-year period, despite its never having been Norway for at least the last 60, we thought it more principled on this occasion NOT to shoot the messenger. We realise we four will be missed by the international community, but we decided it was for the best.  Mr Blair, it should be noted, has made more inroads into his job description than any of us have with ours. Apart from that the rest of us have elections to win and Mr Blair doesn’t. So he can take the flak.”

NOT SHOOTING THE MESSENGER

In response to this the Quartet’s representative Tony Blair said, “It is a relief they have decided NOT to shoot the messenger. I have enough trouble back home at Labour Party conferences where they have a noose with my name on it.  And that’s only because some Conservatives seem to quite like me.”

Just a few reasons Tony Blair survives, while others don’t or perhaps shouldn’t –

RELATED

Quartet on the Middle East (Wikipedia)

The Quartet on the Middle East, sometimes called the Diplomatic Quartet or Madrid Quartet or simply the Quartet, is a foursome of nations and international and supranational entities involved in mediating the peace process in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. The Quartet are the United Nations, the United States, the European Union, and Russia. The group was established in Madrid in 2002, recalling Madrid Conference of 1991, as a result of the escalating conflict in the Middle East. Tony Blair is the Quartet’s current Special Envoy.

Ban Ki-moon (Wikipedia)

*NOTE:

This report is entirely fictional, just in case you wondered!

NOT RELATED TO ANYTHING SENSIBLE –

Debunking Peter Oborne, C4 and the rest of the Tony Blair debunkers

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Recent comments:

I am staggered by all the hate directed towards our former Prime Minister. I believe that Tony Blair made the Iraq decision in good faith and is most certainly NOT a war criminal. If anyone should be tried at the Hague it should be those in the media for totally misrepresenting the information and facts. The media are to blame for fuelling this hatred as it is purely driven by them. (UK)

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The greatest and most successful leader the Labour Party has ever had with the courage to fight the Islamist terrorists who really would like to kill us all, and you never hear a good word about him. The herd of independent minds, commentators, activists etc who have never had to make a difficult decision in their lives drown out all debate with their inane chants of war crimes and blood on his hands. Defend him at every chance. I just wish more people would do it. (Glasgow, UK)
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Blair was the greatest Labour Prime Minister. It is a disgrace that the party has turned away from his legacy. Shame on Ed Miliband and his so-called ‘new generation’.

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